5.0
Verified
A Journey Back to Self
Before the retreat, I had spent time researching many places and guides, learning about their treatment methods, values, and philosophies. Ultimately, I chose Mar because of the instant connection I felt during our video interview. As a multicultural, neurodivergent person living with ADHD, it was crucial for me to find someone who could truly understand and guide me—not just through the ceremonies, but through the whole emotional and spiritual journey.
It wasn’t instant, though. In the beginning, there were challenges—moments of hesitation, doubt, and difficulty trusting not only Mar but also myself. Surrendering to the unknown, to the healing forces at play, felt nearly impossible. I’m naturally skeptical (and apparently pretty stubborn), so letting go was a process. But after my first ceremony, I began to understand that it was okay to have boundaries—and also okay to test and transcend them. Breaking down inner walls is part of the work, especially for someone like me.
Mar is a super*natural guide—yes, pun intended—and she holds her role with deep care, precision, and presence. Her situational awareness was uncanny. In my first two Ayahuasca ceremonies, I was confronted intensely by my shadow self—especially the layers shaped by my ADHD. Everything became a trigger: thoughts, sounds, smells, touch, even Mar’s presence. My body and mind went into panic mode. I was too overwhelmed to articulate what I needed, but somehow, Mar sensed it. She held space for me—quietly, patiently—and that space became my sanctuary.
Those two ceremonies were deeply challenging, but also transformational. Grandmother Ayahuasca showed me tools for survival—how to acknowledge and accept who I am, how to see possibility beyond struggle. I’ll be forever grateful for those foundations, even if they were born from discomfort.
The third and final ceremony was lighter. I had learned from the first two how to manage my body, which finally allowed me to open other doors—mental, emotional, and spiritual. I even discovered that I could ask Grandmother Ayahuasca to be more gentle or quieter. That changed everything. The more you open up to communication—with your guides, with the medicine—the more tools and options you uncover.
I learned that it’s okay to ask for space, whether from Mar (haha) or from the medicine itself. In my case, Ayahuasca’s presence often manifested as a loud, buzzing perimeter of energy, even guiding things like preventing me from drinking tap water. It was intense. But learning to communicate my needs—to the healing forces and to myself—was part of the healing.
Each Ayahuasca ceremony had a clear focus and purpose in retrospect. The first helped me "see"—to witness the realms at work and begin accepting my chaotic mental state. The second taught me how to survive and self-regulate under immense stress. The third helped me learn to trust myself—my body, my inner voice—even when others might not understand. Of course, the body isn’t always right either (confusing, I know!). But the point is, I began to truly listen. I became less of a skeptic and more in tune with the spiritual layers of life. Each ceremony lifted a burden and helped me rebuild from a new place—with more self-love, awareness, and connection to the greater universal energies.
If you're considering this work, I strongly recommend staying longer. Give yourself time to ground, to integrate, and to develop healthier habits. It’s said that forming a new habit takes about 14 days—so allow yourself at least that much to begin becoming the version of yourself you respect and love.
So much love and gratitude to Mar—wild, one-with-nature, fiercely compassionate—and to the incredible healing environment and community she’s cultivated. I feel so fortunate to have met so many beautiful souls. Some of them now feel like family. (Disclaimer: her amazing friends and community may not come as part of the package deal, but the longer you stay with Mar and her daughter Magdalena, the more likely you’ll get to meet these legends too!)
It wasn’t instant, though. In the beginning, there were challenges—moments of hesitation, doubt, and difficulty trusting not only Mar but also myself. Surrendering to the unknown, to the healing forces at play, felt nearly impossible. I’m naturally skeptical (and apparently pretty stubborn), so letting go was a process. But after my first ceremony, I began to understand that it was okay to have boundaries—and also okay to test and transcend them. Breaking down inner walls is part of the work, especially for someone like me.
Mar is a super*natural guide—yes, pun intended—and she holds her role with deep care, precision, and presence. Her situational awareness was uncanny. In my first two Ayahuasca ceremonies, I was confronted intensely by my shadow self—especially the layers shaped by my ADHD. Everything became a trigger: thoughts, sounds, smells, touch, even Mar’s presence. My body and mind went into panic mode. I was too overwhelmed to articulate what I needed, but somehow, Mar sensed it. She held space for me—quietly, patiently—and that space became my sanctuary.
Those two ceremonies were deeply challenging, but also transformational. Grandmother Ayahuasca showed me tools for survival—how to acknowledge and accept who I am, how to see possibility beyond struggle. I’ll be forever grateful for those foundations, even if they were born from discomfort.
The third and final ceremony was lighter. I had learned from the first two how to manage my body, which finally allowed me to open other doors—mental, emotional, and spiritual. I even discovered that I could ask Grandmother Ayahuasca to be more gentle or quieter. That changed everything. The more you open up to communication—with your guides, with the medicine—the more tools and options you uncover.
I learned that it’s okay to ask for space, whether from Mar (haha) or from the medicine itself. In my case, Ayahuasca’s presence often manifested as a loud, buzzing perimeter of energy, even guiding things like preventing me from drinking tap water. It was intense. But learning to communicate my needs—to the healing forces and to myself—was part of the healing.
Each Ayahuasca ceremony had a clear focus and purpose in retrospect. The first helped me "see"—to witness the realms at work and begin accepting my chaotic mental state. The second taught me how to survive and self-regulate under immense stress. The third helped me learn to trust myself—my body, my inner voice—even when others might not understand. Of course, the body isn’t always right either (confusing, I know!). But the point is, I began to truly listen. I became less of a skeptic and more in tune with the spiritual layers of life. Each ceremony lifted a burden and helped me rebuild from a new place—with more self-love, awareness, and connection to the greater universal energies.
If you're considering this work, I strongly recommend staying longer. Give yourself time to ground, to integrate, and to develop healthier habits. It’s said that forming a new habit takes about 14 days—so allow yourself at least that much to begin becoming the version of yourself you respect and love.
So much love and gratitude to Mar—wild, one-with-nature, fiercely compassionate—and to the incredible healing environment and community she’s cultivated. I feel so fortunate to have met so many beautiful souls. Some of them now feel like family. (Disclaimer: her amazing friends and community may not come as part of the package deal, but the longer you stay with Mar and her daughter Magdalena, the more likely you’ll get to meet these legends too!)
