Confluence Retreats

At the ripe old age of 71, I retired from my job as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and decided I want to be a Psychedelic Assisted Therapist, enrolling in a course to become certified. There was, however, a minor glitch - I had never had a psychedelic experience! I was determined I wanted to find a place to do it legally and with full support during, pre- and post-.

Fortunately, I stumbled on Myles Katz and Confluence Retreats. He was very patient and helpful as I asked my million questions before making my decision. When I committed, Myles and his colleagues, particularly a licensed therapist named Jules, thoroughly prepared us in advance of arriving at the venue. Once there, we continued to prepare, which included breathwork sessions, which were incredible, group circles, yoga, walks in our beautiful setting, and communal meals with the MOST amazing food.

There were 2 actual psilocybin journeys, which I was very happy for. To be completely honest, the journeys themselves were not what I had envisioned, but something much quieter and less visual. On the second journey I struggled with nausea and needed to go into a room away from the others. Jules stayed with me providing support and comfort, never too much or too little, and never did I feel like I was being a bother for requiring additional attention. When I returned to the group, I must admit that although I had a journey that was unexpected, the fact that I had done it made me feel proud, and just a little badass 😆. What was clear as a result is that I have more work to do to prepare for my next journey, and when that time comes, I will most definitely reach out to Myles and Confluence!

Twenty years ago I had a wonderful, life-changing near death experience. A few years later I stumbled upon Michael Pollan’s book and I looked forward to the day I could legally schedule a mushroom journey that would give me another glimpse of what I felt in that NDE.

Fast forward to the recent hurricane in western North Carolina where I lost everything and suffered severe debilitating PTSD. I desperately needed help and flew to Oregon in November where I joined the other seven members of my Confluence group. We all had our own reasons for being there and we each had different experiences with our subsequent mushroom journeys. My journey was difficult but it stopped my symptoms and allowed me to function in daily life.

I chose to come to Confluence because they genuinely cared about why I wanted to be there. From the initial call, they were centered on me, what I wanted and how a journey could benefit me. I felt stuck in my own head, drowning in unhappiness and unable to find my joy. While I was there, I found the joy that had been buried inside of me for far too long. I found inner strength that I wasn't even sure was there. I also found that doing a journey like this in a group setting was beneficial for me, it was amazing to have people to talk to who had been there with me, understood what I was talking about and right there with me while I shared. Having preparation and integration onsite was invaluable with the two journey process as each journey was beneficial for different reasons and I can't imagine having to navigate integration alone. I found a community while I was there and still talk to many of the amazing people in my group.

I lost my wife of 32 years nearly three years ago. Although I have progressed well through the grief process, I had changed. I no longer was the same person. I had a lot of anxiety built up and was very insecure in many ways. I decided to give psilocybin a try. I honestly stumbled upon Confluence by a simple Google search. I’m so glad I found them! These were the most transformative 5 days of my life. Through the preparation process suggested by Myles and Jules, I was absolutely ready for the experience. The entire retreat was great. The venue was beautiful nestled into the hillside of beautiful mountains. So much nicer than being in a town or city. We did great breath work sessions and meditation on the days we weren’t doing the mushrooms. The food was phenomenal! All fresh and expertly prepared. For me though, the mushrooms were the stars of the experience. We had mushroom journeys on Thursday and Saturday. I received exactly what I wanted and what I needed. On the long journey on Saturday I felt as if I was told “Chris, it’s your time to be happy”. Not only that but I realized I can be happy on my own. I don’t need anyone else to make me happy. I hadn’t felt this way in years(if ever)and I truly believe the mushrooms are responsible for the new me. It’s been over a month since my experience and I am in a better place in my life. The journeys were life changing for me. The small group dynamic was wonderful. Everyone felt like family by the end of the retreat; participants, facilitators, everyone! I can’t imagine having the mushroom journey and going back to a lonely hotel room afterwards. I don’t think I would have gotten as much from the experience. The support received post retreat has been outstanding. They really want you to continue the integration process and they help guide you through this with supportive Zoom calls. These are done with the entire participant group and individually. I’m so grateful to the entire Confluence and Omnia teams. They are awesome people. I felt safe and secure in the container they provided.

I attended a 5 day Confluence Retreats psilocybin session during October of 2024 on the recommendation of my spouse
of 45 years who had been there several months earlier. It was a very simple “I think you would find it a very positive
experience and you may find answers to questions you don’t realize you have”. I was a bit hesitant of the thought at
first but had seen first-hand the very positive results she had achieved and decided to follow her lead to see where it
took me. To describe it as life changing would be an understatement.

What would I want to improve in my life? What answers to what questions am I looking for at this stage of my life? Will I
really get something out of this or will I come back wondering why I went? I pondered these questions over the next
several months and prior to attending. If I was going to attend, I wanted to get the most out of it that I could, so what
did I hope to achieve?

I’m 64 years old and have been in leadership positions since my early years and always felt my self-worth revolved
around completion of tasks or a “job well done”. I’ve never been a good communicator on an emotional level, nor have
I been in touch with my spiritual side. I’ve always struggled with a sense of self, had trouble expressing how I feel and
fully understanding others feelings when shared with me. These topics always made me very uncomfortable so I would
close myself off by avoiding the conversation or shutting down, assuming that if it wasn’t discussed then everything
must be okay. I decided that I wanted to find a way to overcome the emotional blocks I’ve experienced throughout my
life, dig deep to improve communication and get in touch with my spiritual self. I went to the retreat feeling a bit up-
tight and reserved but with the mind-set of “If I’m going to attend, I’m going to trust the process, fully immerse myself in
the experience and see where it takes me”.

Being “off-grid” in the remote Southern Oregon Mountains for a 5 day retreat was the right decision for me. It gave me
the opportunity to unplug from my daily life, focus on myself and immerse myself in the full experience with others who
were attending for their own reasons while allowing me to be there for mine. The well-defined daily schedule of events,
group sessions, quiet time to reflect and look inward, community meals (excellent food by the way…), friendship &
comraderie all fell in place to make the experience more meaningful and one I will never forget.

Having 2 separate psilocybin journeys during the 5 day retreat was very beneficial to me and because of the retreat
format, group sessions, etc. I felt prepared for each of the journeys as they occurred. Having them close together with
the support and guidance of the retreat leaders added to and greatly improved the experience for me. Both journeys
had their place and each had their own message for me; the first being one of facing some internal demons while the
second was finding paths to improve my life. Answers to questions I had prior to attending came in to focus. Questions I
didn’t know I had presented themselves as well, some were answered while others influenced future thought. Some
came during the journeys, others soon after or over the next several days.

I could feel new pathways had opened in my brain & I began to see things differently. I became more aware of and can now more readily express my thoughts & emotions. Prayer, spirituality and looking inward are no longer foreign to me but a comfort I’ve long sought. Meaningful conversations and hard topics are something I now look forward to. Living “in the moment” and being here right now-wherever that “here” is, has become my new normal.

My wife said I came home a different but better person than the one who left. I agree with that statement and am very
thankful to Confluence Retreats for helping me become that person.

I like this version of me, I think I’ll keep it.