Online
3.0
Verified
Ayahuasca, Tarragona, Spain
The last retreat I went on in 2023 with a different team (now not available in Europe) was very transformative and a more traditional ceremony. This time it was not really transformative for me with the ayahuasca, at least nothing I am aware of so far (perhaps I didn't need it). The first session had the most effect. I found myself on the second session unable to vomit until I had gone to bed many hours later but really felt that it would have relieved the sensations in my gut had it happened much earlier. By the time of the third session I would have happily not done it as I felt centred in myself, but did and only had one cup of the brew. The ayahuasca seemed thicker and grittier than on my first retreat and I felt nauseous just thinking about it. On the final morning I actually felt quite good but nothing outstanding and was glad not to have to take any more of the ayahuasca brew. I wanted to do the Bufo Alvarius but was told I didn't need it and was too sensitive which was disappointing - probably the decision was made to cover themselves as they are responsible for people on the retreats they run. I now have to find a one on one guide for the Bufo as I would prefer not to do it in a group anyway. My male companion was allowed to do it and reckoned, having known me for years, that it was not beyond my capabilities to come through it in tact - he had a great experience with it. I really was not interested in the long psychotherapy sessions. I thought there would be one at the beginning and one at the end but there was sharing and analysing each morning after the nightly sessions. I would have preferred a setting with little or no verbal communication for much of the time as it is more beneficial for me, at least, to be centred in my own space. The catering was very well done and the food delicious, though not what is generally recommended for an ayahuasca retreat. Having experienced a strict diet on the first retreat I do think that it promotes a better ayahuasca experience but that may just be my particular bias. On the up side of things people were kind and I did have some very good exchanges, so thanks to the team for looking after us and it was good to meet other people on the retreat.
Last Chance