Sinchi Runa

I entered the ayahuasca retreat with the weight of unresolved issues—family wounds, fears, regrets, and guilt. One of my core intentions was to explore my relationship with my son. I wanted to break the generational cycle of trauma passed down from my parents and theirs, and make sure I wasn’t repeating the same patterns.

Over the course of three ceremonies, the experience unfolded in three distinct phases: discovery, healing, and stillness.

Ceremony One: Discovery

The first ceremony was powerful. Almost immediately after the journey began, I felt something shift. Without any intention or prompting, I just knew—I no longer needed alcohol or recreational drugs. I realized this was the experience I’d been chasing all my life. That need for excess, the constant search for highs—it all fell away. Since that night, I haven’t touched a drink, nor felt the urge.

The experience was emotional in every sense. I moved through shame, joy, sorrow, fear, compassion—every feeling, every nuance. I relived moments with my son—times I could have responded with more love but chose frustration or anger instead. I cried deeply. I also experienced pure joy.

For the first time, I truly forgave my parents. I had been trying to do this for years. But in that moment, it finally released. What I learned was simple but life-changing: all I need is to create space—space to respond with compassion, space to be present. That is my truest self.

After the ceremony, walking back to my tent, I felt so light I was almost skipping. Then I burst into laughter—uncontrollable, hysterical laughter—at the absurdity of my old ways. I realized how exhausted I was from constantly leading, deciding, performing. I just wanted to be, to rest. And for the first time in a long while, that felt okay.

Ceremony Two: Healing

Going into the second ceremony, I was apprehensive. The first one had been so intense, and I didn’t know if I was ready for more. But what I received was very different—gentle, powerful healing.

As the medicine took hold, I saw something at the edge of my vision—geometric patterns, colors, dimensions. When I finally turned my attention to it, we locked eyes. It was her—Mother Ayahuasca, or maybe Mother Nature, or God—however you want to define it. She knew I needed healing. She wrapped herself around me, held me, protected me, and told me: Even if you can’t see me, I’m always here. And when you need me, return to nature.

Through that ceremony, I practiced going in and out of deep meditation. Every time I dropped back in, she returned with another message. At one point, I felt like a little boy again—laughing, crying, wanting to be taken care of. That’s what I needed. To just be loved. And that’s exactly what I received.

Ceremony Three: Stillness

My intention for the third ceremony was clear: stillness. I wanted to stay in deep meditation and silence.

And I did. For the first time in my life, my mind was quiet. Truly quiet. I was at peace—completely, effortlessly. No fear. No stress. No noise. Just pure stillness and an overwhelming sense of love emanating from within.

I was honestly shocked by how peaceful I could feel. That this kind of inner calm was even possible—especially considering how fast-paced and demanding my life is. And it came from within me. That was the most profound realization.

Integration: Carrying It Forward

Coming back into the real world, I felt fragile—open, vulnerable. I worried about slipping back into old patterns. But I’ve been using the tools I brought back: the music, the chants, daily meditation. Even if I’m stuck in traffic or standing in a queue, I’ll put on the playlist, breathe, and recenter.

One of the biggest lessons came from that second night—the experimentation. It showed me that staying in this state of peace takes work. Practice. Intention. Stillness. The truth is, all the answers are already within me. They always have been. But accessing them requires quieting the noise of the world, again and again.

Ayahuasca didn’t give me anything I didn’t already have. It just reminded me of who I am—and who I’ve always been beneath the noise. A man capable of love, of compassion, of peace. A man healing for himself, and for his son.

A few years ago, the solid ground on which i believed i was standing, shattered. I didn't knew anymore what was real and what was fantasy. A frantic search for understanding begun, but more importantly, it was a search for meaning, a search for filling the hole i felt in my chest, a search for love.
One day i was crying uncontrollably in my car, driving back from work, thinking that i can not live this life anymore, but feeling completely trapped, in an unfulfilling job, in an unhappy marriage, living a fake life, feeling fake myself and wanting to run away from it all.
At the same time, i was spending all my free time trying to make sense of it all, reading and researching on all topics that had to do with the nature of existence, from philosophy to physics, to psychology, from aliens to conspiracy theories to channeling to spirituality to psychedelics.
I felt i had a better mental understanding of the world i was living in, but at the same time, that hole, that emptiness i felt inside myself was still there. Covering it up with addictions was not working anymore, not when i knew , theoretically at least at that point, that there is something else out there, a different way of being, a different way of feeling, a different way of thinking.
That led me to the point of this story, my first visit to Sinchi Runa for a 3 week long Ayahuasca retreat. This was happening about 4 years ago, in Autumn, in Portugal.
I still remember my first Ayahuasca ceremony, which was and still is, the most intense, the most unbelievable, the most beautiful experience i ever had in this life. I remember the disbelief, i could not believe that such a thing was possible.
I was crying tears of joy the entire time. I remember after it was finished, i was thinking, if i would have to give everything i own to have this experience, i would do it and it would be worth it.
That first experience and that place i was in, that place of love and acceptance felt more real than anything in this life, more than this, it felt familiar, it felt like i was there before, it felt like home.
Over the years i found that place again, it's always accessible, by opening my heart, so i want to thank Master Sanango for giving me the tool to do that, that tool being sound, mantras, icaros, music that raises my frequency and connects me to divinity and to my own divinity.
Thank you also, Master Sanango, for everything you do during the ceremonies, for showing us the path with the chanting, for the beautiful smells, for your care of each of us when we are having a hard time. Multumesc Master Sanango.
After that first experience there were many others, during the 3 retreats i had at Sinchi Runa, some were beautiful, some were funny, some were hard to go through, but they were always useful and always what i needed.
Ayahuasca will always show me where the trouble is and how to fix it, but it will not fix it for me, that i had and i have to do myself.
It is hard, painful sometimes, frustrating some others, having to face my fears, to start being truthful to myself, to keep my word to myself, to quit my addictions one by one, to stop judging people, to stop worrying about anything and everything.
It is hard, but the payoff is unbelievable, to be at peace, to see the beauty and the love that is all around, to cry of joy, to feel that emptiness being slowly filled with love, love for everyone and for everything, to be silently aware. Silence is happiness.
Lastly i would like to thank all of you there who were my teachers.
Thank you Arjuna, the statue :), it was a joy chanting with you, thank you for the socks, they kept me warm, even though i put them through war, they acquired some holes :). I hope you will get to see India soon, i think you will love it there.
Thank you Madhava, you were my teacher through your actions, you gave us what we needed, according to our behavior, i had this thought, Kambo is the price we have to pay for Ayahuasca :). Thank you for the beautiful homa fire and for your energy, your presence always makes me smile.
Thank you Ananda, thank you for the discomfort, you helped me learn a very important lesson, the one about chasing pleasure and running away from pain. They are the two faces of the same coin. Thank you for the silence.
To end this, thank all of you at Sinchi Runa, you are family.
Multumesc

Hello👋.
My name is Peter. I came back home from this resort last week.
I highly recommend Sinchi Runa center. An amazing experience, great team, very good service and a high class shaman with a lot of experience👍👍. I felt safe and looked after there. I will definitely go back there next year.
Thank you very much to the whole Sinchi runa crew - You are doing a great thing🙏🙏❤️

What an incredible, somewhat indescribable experience the New Years Eve Retreat @ Sinchi Runa (Spain) was. The setting within itself was beautiful and extremely serene being that it was a silent retreat. The amenities were clearly described and extremely well put.

The staff are all brilliant, shining human beings. From the Maestro himself, Mr Sanango's humour and ease of presence. To Ananda the 2nd hand man.. to Arjuna, Paul, Helge, Mikeala and Andrea... each of them brought a special energy and aura to our special retreat.

Words can't thank you all enough for this life-changing retreat. It certainly won't be the last time we cross paths.

My experience at Sinchi Runa was beautiful. It challenged me - as meaningful experiences that require one to turn inwards often do - and the retreat team was there throughout to hold the process with care, skill and consistency. For a week, I felt that I was transported into a timeless place where I could bring myself deeper and deeper into the practice of presence. Several weeks afterwards, I can still feel its effects, and I'm now doing the work needed to bring my insights into daily life. I hope to return to Sinchi Runa for a longer period in the years to come. Thank you to the team!